however long the night, the dawn will break.

I am writing this by headlamp light as it was really cloudy all day and rained some, causing our solar batteries for electricity to receive no charge.  Praise the Lord for rain!

I sit in the darkness and yet have such a peace.  Today, during team devotional, we looked at 1 John 2:1-14.  We talked a lot about those who pretend to walk in the light but really walk in darkness.  Will there be days when we won’t want to love the Toposa people?  If we answer honestly, yes.  We’re human.  But, if we live as servants of Christ, love should be our motivation and our instinct. 

“But if anyone obeys His word, God’s love is truly made complete in him.  This is how we know we are in Him: Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did.” (verses 5-6)

And how did Jesus walk? 

“Jesus replied, ‘Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, bit the Son of Man has no palce to lay His head.’”  Luke 9:58

“And He said, ‘The Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and He must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.’”  Luke 9:22

“‘Father, if You are willing, take this cup from Me; yet not my will, but Yours be done.’”  Luke 22:42

“‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’”  Luke 23:34

Two months exactly.  That is how long I have not been on this continent.  Time has gone so slowly, and yet, it has flown by.  How much can I do in the year and a half that I have left?  What impact can I have on the Toposa community?  What will last?  What legacy will I leave behind?

“In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”  Matthew 5:16

“Then He said to them all: ‘If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me.’”  Luke 9:23

“I tell you the truth unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves is life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves Me must follow Me; and where I am, my servant also will be.  My Father will honor the one who serves Me.”  John 12:24-26

My prayer is that God gives me His eyes to see the Toposa the way that He sees them.  To see them like sheep without a shepherd.  Driving down the road today we passed by many herds of sheep and goats that scattered the moment they heard the car coming.  That is how the Toposa are!  That is how all who are lost are.  There is no clear direction, no kind yet firm leader, no real or lasting satisfaction, no enduring hope.  That He’d give me His eyes to see their need for Him and to see how to best meet that need.  That He’d break my heart for the Toposa and reveal creative ways of sharing His truth with them.

I still do not know what the AIDS curriculum is going to look like out there in the Toposa villages.  Or what women’s Bible studies I might help start or participate in.  Or how I fit exactly into the whole hope for planting churches among those in Toposaland.  

But this I do know:

“At one time [I] too [was] foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. [I] lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating [others]. But when the kindness and love of God [my] Savior appeared, He saved [me], not because of righteous things [I] had done, but because of His mercy. He saved [me] through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on [me] generously through Jesus Christ [my] Savior, so that, being justified by His grace, [I] might become [an] heir having the hope of eternal life.”  Titus 3:3-7

As Jesus’ servant, my goal is to “be subject to [my] master in everything” “so that in every way [I] will make the teaching about God [my] Savior attractive” (Titus 2:9-10).

For you see, He has led me to pray that I would make His “name and renown” the constant desire of my heart and that I would desire Him and thirst after Him like a deer thirsts for water (Isaiah 26:8-9, Ps. 42).  If I live for His glory, He will be the One at work and He will be the legacy I leave behind.  With Him as my goal, He will be the One to show up and show off as He moves among the Toposa people.  I am so thrilled that He has invited me on this journey with Him.

It is still very dark here as I write this.  But I am thinking of an African proverb I learning at training in Virginia:  “However long the night, the dawn will break.” 

God is on the move.  And it is awesome that I get to be here to see Him do so.

P.S. Just woke up after a cool and restful night of sleep!  Thank you for your prayers!