oh how He makes me laugh.

Last Tuesday I was…

Having a funny stomach day.

Sick with a head cold.

Exhausted.

Voiceless.

And yet that was the day, completely unplanned from my end, that God chose for me to share the gospel.

Oh how He makes me laugh!

Just when I think I have it all figured out.  I got this storying thing down.  I am checking off stories and approaching the end.  That’s when God takes my voice away.  And I was so frustrated and tired and just plain not feeling well all over.  But I had to go.  Next story.  Off to share about the Samaritan who loved his hurting enemy on the side of the road by bandaging his wounds, carrying him to a safe place, and providing for his needs.  Off to tell those gathered by the borehole in Nataragat about Jesus who loved an outcast among his own people—the unclean, dirty, and untouchable leper—by touching him and healing him completely. 

I got there and quickly realized as the school kids starting singing some praise songs that it would strain what little voice I did have to even whisper songs.  And I came to tell two stories from God’s Word!  Lucy came a little after that; she was sorry about my voice.  I told her, it doesn’t really matter, seeing as how the people won’t really be listening to me but to her and her Toposa.  She laughed.

So I told the stories and asked the questions.  Silly me for trying to stick to my routine.  (Haven’t I learned yet that letting go is the best and only way!!  God keeps teaching me this.  And I will probably keep learning it for the rest of my life!)  It was going good.  I drew pictures of the road where the Israelite man was robbed, and I explained in detail about the view of lepers in that culture.  They understood!

And that’s when Lucy’s father began to talk.  He is a Catholic, as many of those listening are, but only one on the surface.  Beneath his rosary and recited prayers, his heart belongs to his witchcraft and ancestor worship and life of fear from evil spirits.

First, he talked about the crossing himself in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I asked him what that meant to him.  He explained, I think, that it is a greeting for God (and he does it often because he believes it must be done this way).  I told him that’s a good way to greet God but that it is not required to greet God.  There are other ways to come before the Father.  In fact, there are many ways!  God wants us to come as we are.  Period.

What caught my attention was when he called himself a bad sinner.  He said that he prays and then he sins and then he prays and then he sins.  And the Holy Spirit spoke for me.

That led into a gospel presentation.  I explained how, when Jesus, the Son of God, came to die, it was to die once for all sins of all people past, present, future.  I recounted four of my specific sins to him and drew tick marks on the ground.  Then, I said that Jesus took each of those upon Himself, took the punishment I deserve for each of those sins, and died for them, for me!  And for him and for Lucy and for every school kid and man and woman that was sitting around us.  I talked about how God turned his back on Jesus because of all the sins that were laid upon Him. 

And then I talked about the resurrection.  That the reason I don’t wear crosses with Jesus on them, is because Jesus is alive!  He is no longer on the cross, but He reigns on high in heaven!!!

I explained the choice that God sets before each of us.  The choice to remain in our bondage to fear, remain in our sin, and remain in our disobedience and opposition to God or to turn from all of that by believing in Jesus’ sacrifice for our sin, live in freedom as a servant and child of the King, and follow Him in wholehearted obedience. 

I asked if anyone wanted to make that choice.  No one responded.  There were no loud cries or tears or people saying, “I need Jesus.”  Lucy’s father was grateful to me for sharing this from God’s Word.  He said he’d think about it.  I reminded him that Jesus Himself said that He is coming soon.  This choice is not one to wait on.

On the way home, I smiled.  God made me laugh.  He so clearly reminded me that He is the One at work here, not me.  He is the One who draws people to Himself, not me.  He is the One who speaks, not me.

And I laughed.  Because I was hurting, and sick, and tired, and…voiceless.

But God spoke.

And they heard.

Pictures from two days ago in Lucy's garden:

 Lucy and I
(Whitney, do you see your headband?  She LOVED it.)

 "Numwa" or sorghum, the staple crop here in Toposaland

 Girls up on the "lopim" where they keep watch for birds trying to eat the sorghum

Me with Nawi, Lucy's daughter

lately.

Here's what's been happening lately...

Bees have overtaken my kitchen.  They are building a hive; at least, I think so.  I can't see the hub of where they are, back there behind my cabinets, between the back of the counters and the wall.  Shannon has been so kind to put himself at risk and spray cans and cans of DOOM (the most appropriately named bug spray ever) at the bees and their hive-in-process.  They get so loud after the sprays!  I have had to learn to live with many dead bees on my counters and floors (see below!) and get used to being very careful when heading toward the fridge as I make meals!  And I always have a can of DOOM at the ready.  Hopefully they will be on their way out soon.  Surely a tree would make a much better hive...if only I could get them to believe that.  We sprayed today, and then closed the hole so they can't get out!  Eeek.  Hope it works!  Otherwise I now have some very angry bees trapped in a makeshift hive behind my counters.

 My floor from the door.  Those dots you see?  All bees.

 Getting a little closer to the corner...

 Notice the bee-covered counter as well...

 Creeping back there, hoping and praying I do not get stung...

And yes.  These are all dead bees.  

I have started teaching homeschool to a lively fourth grader, Davis!  It is quite enjoyable.  I really do like teaching!  It is also quite tiring.  Even exhausting.  I have a much greater appreciation for every single one of my teachers as well as my friends who, themselves, are now teachers (Elena and Lacey!).  It takes a lot of preparation and work and patience and energy.  But it is so worth it!  Please be praying for me as I do my best to make learning fun for Davis; pray for endless creativity for me and for him!  Thanks!

 Us on the first day of school at Lo Compound Primary School.  Go Cobras!  

Teehee.  :)  

The people around here refer to our "village" as "lo compound."  Still cracks me up!

 View from the back of the classroom, which is a shipping container

 Walker's little desk for when he'll start pre-school!

 My view from where I stand/sit from 8:30am to 2:00-3:30pm every day

Davis on his second day in science, after learning about creation, holding his creation.  A carrot and a numkat, his own fruit that is shaped like a cube and tastes something like a pear and grapes put together.

 Davis' cell model.  (I may have enjoyed this more than he did!)

And I just had to add this, a picture of my dinner last night:

That's right.  Praise the Lord for having Old El Paso stuff make it all the way to Nairobi!!!  Mexican food really is the best.  Nothing else even comes close.

That's it for now!  It's been raining steadily for seven hours, and I am enjoying a cloudy, cold, rainy day!

loneliness.....is.....lovely.

Wait...what?

Yes, it sounds crazy.  But that has become my prayer.  Not that the loneliness will go away, because it won't (especially in this next month before my teammate comes).  If I prayed that, I'd be asking for something that God has already said "no" to at this time.  He's called me, in a way, to be lonely for now.  So, I thought I'm going to make the most of this opportunity!  (The trip is what you make it, right Pastor Dan?)  And the Holy Spirit put it on my heart to pray that the loneliness is lovely.  Ok, yes, I also really like acronyms.  A while back I wrote a post called “waiting is wonderful.”  But…it helps me to remember things in this memorable manner…easier to pray, quick to recall when looking back, and short and sweet to pass on to someone else.

In the concordance in the back of the Bible I have with me, there is only one verse in the Bible that uses the word: "lonely".  I looked my last night in Nairobi when I began to again feel that overwhelming feeling that is loneliness.  To be honest, it's kind of like feeling you are in a black hole, being sucked away from everything that is familiar and everyone you know.

“God sets the lonely in families.” Psalm 68:6

And He has done this for me in many ways.

My wonderful, faithful in prayer, contiuously supportive family back home. (And even though they are not pictured this includes my dear grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles in Texas and New York!)

My family adjusting to life overseas in Africa and beyond and going through the same kinds of adjustments and transitions from training in Virginia and Zambia.

My family on my team here in Sudan. (And this includes Whitney, who was here for two months but is home now, and Mindy who is on her way here for a long time so soon!)

My family among the Toposa people.

I thanked God that night in Nairobi for each of my families.  He always provides even for needs I didn’t know I had.

Then, I began flipping through the book of Genesis, because I’ve been reading through the beginning chapters of the Bible, and God brought me to chapter 16 and the story of Hagar’s flight.  My eyes were immediately drawn to verse 13: “She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: ‘You are the God who sees me,’ for she said, ‘I have now seen the God who sees me.’”

God sees me. 

Even when I am physically alone.

Even when I am so overjoyed I can’t stand it but have no one to share it with.

Even when tears fall down and no one hears me cry.

Even when it is very dark and nothing can be seen.

God sees me.

What a promise to claim!  I decided to look at the verses marked in the cross-reference section of my Bible.  Another moment where I knew God was speaking directly to my heart.  He led me to Psalm 139.  Verses 7-10 calmed me immediately upon reading them:

“Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? If I go up to the heavens , you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.”

I have been reading elsewhere in the Old Testament, and God tells His people many times to “hold fast” to His commands, “hold fast” to His Word, and to “hold fast” to Him.  In low moments, I have reminded myself to be sure and hold fast to Him, my ever-present King, who never ever changes.

But!!! What I hadn’t remembered or realized yet, was the greater truth that He, the Creator God of the Universe, the Most High King, the Sovereign Lord, He holds me fast. 

Whoa.  Whoa.

It may seem crazy, and I can hardly believe it myself, but the loneliness is lovely.  Because it makes me rest in Him alone, the Only One who really is always there. 

And it’s becoming more lovely every single day.