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Monday, May 19, 2014

to be an African woman.

Today, I presented my insider report for my Second Language and Culture Acquisition class, for which I portrayed a Zimbabwean woman. Over the past two weeks, I read the book Zenzele: A Letter for My Daughter by J. Nozipo Maraire, and then today I took my place at the front of the classroom and in ten minutes shared some about my Zimbabwean life.


Here's me in my outfit.  (It's from Tanzania!)

A few good quotes from the book:
"The village is our library; the mbuyas (grandmothers) and sekurus (grandfather) are our encyclopedias."
"Our pride does not derive from material things. It is just that we are close to the soil. That is where the African foundation is. We are still standing on the ground of our ancestors; we are rooted, where others were scattered. Now we must fight the enemy within." 
The mother's response to her daughter's question: "What is an African woman?"
"It is to be strong, Zenzele. It is to be at peace within…being an African woman is what you make of it, Zenzele. But never forget that for the majority, it also means to rise out of bed before others, to make the cold kitchen warm, to work the fields in the blazing heat, to walk for miles on dusty paths carrying water on your head, wood under your arms, and a baby on your back."
She closes with this statement:

"It is a pity that I have not more to leave you than words. But what is life, after all, but a story, some fiction and some truth? In the end, there are words. They are the very manifestations of our immortality. Your own life is a story yet to be told, and wisdom, when it comes, is simply to understand at last the beginning of the word and the story of our birth, death, and rebirth.”
It was fun and interesting to tell a life story from someone from another culture.  Eye-opening to say the least.  It is true for all cultures, though, that all we have at the end of the day, at the end of time, is our story.

What is your story?  What words do you leave behind?

Sunday, March 2, 2014

He who cares for children.

A typical question to ask in America, following the "how are you?" greeting is:

"What do you do?"

We don't ever ask the question, with strangers or dear friends, "Who are you?"  Whoa.  A little much. Right?  Our culture defines who we are, generally speaking, as what we do.  You are what you do. 

But what if we asked God that question?  Is He what He does?

In my phonetics class, we practice all the sounds of the world by practicing words from many different languages.  For each word, before we practice pronouncing it, we learn the language and its English gloss (or brief translation). We were discussing voiceless vowels, something prevalent in many Native American languages, and this gloss struck a chord, so I jotted it down quickly.  In Cherokee, one word means:

'He who cares for children came back after me'

In Cherokee, the above phrase is one word.  One noun.  One definition and characterization for a specific person. 

He who cares for children.  That is God.  That is what He does right?  He came back after me, after I turned my back and strayed so far from His way.  And He is faithful.  When I wander even now, He invites me back in.  Why?  Because He is He who cares for children.  It is what He does.

But it is also who He is.

I think God does who He is.  He acts out of His character.  Always. Whether He is Father to the fatherless, Shepherd to the lost sheep, Guide to the seeker, Hope to the hopeless, Provider to the poor, Healer to the sick, Judge to the unjust, or Savior to the sinner.

Yes, we all define ourselves by the things we do or the roles we serve in life.  One may be a lawyer and a mother and a wife. Or a secretary and a niece. Another a doctor and a father and a treasurer. Another a student and a sister and a granddaughter and a tutor.

But no matter what we are doing, or what role we are acting in at the moment, we are who we are.  Even we pretend to be someone else.  At the very least, we are who we are to ourselves.

We do who we are. 
I do who I am.

And who am I?  

Yes, I'm a student, daughter, granddaughter, cousin, and in the process of becoming a linguist.

But above all, I am a child of God. 
And I am to do, to act, to be in every place and role and situation who I am.

The child God went after.

Who are you?




Sunday, January 26, 2014

the truth about love.

"The Truth About Love."

The title of the artist Pink's new concert tour is written in huge pink letters on a billboard somewhere along I-30.  On my new commute from my apartment in Dallas to the Graduate Institute of Applied Linguistics, I've noticed this sign, and today this unfolded in my head...

The truth about human love in this life and in this world is...that it runs out.
It is self-centered.
It is based on feelings and emotion.
It is conditional.
It doesn't last forever.
It isn't happiness (which also runs out).
It is always and will always be incomplete.
It does not complete you.
It is not enough.

The truth about this love is that it fails.

I don't know Pink's lyrics on her album, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to find out what she believes to be the truth about love.  Ok, well, I happened to notice she has a song called "True Love."  I looked at the lyrics...something like "I hate you, I really hate you, so much, I think it must be true love."  Hate is love now?  WHAT??!!?!?!?!  Oh, and "no one can break my heart like you."  So broken hearts = true love.  This makes me want to run from love.  Oh wait!  She also says in "The Truth About Love" song, which by the way has some terrible lyrics, that "it is regret, it is rage, it is hate." Hmmm...

However, Pink did get something right in her song for which her album is named: "the truth about love is it's all a lie."  Yes, Pink, love in this world is a lie, because of all the other truths I listed above.

Then I remembered. I sang a song also called "True Love" this week.  This version is by Phil Wickham.

Come close, listen to the story
About a love more faithful than the morning
The Father gave His only Son just to save us

The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Father's broken heart
Tears were filling heaven's eyes
The day that true love died, the day that true love died
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that true love died, the day that true love died

Search your hearts, you know you can't deny it
Lose your life just so you can find it
The Father gave His only Son just to save us

Jesus is alive
He rose again

I know the Truth.  I know Love.  Jesus Christ is Truth and Love.  And He never forsakes.  His love is constant.  It is more than emotion.  It is unconditional.  It lasts forever.  It is enough for every need.  His love never fails. Never.

He died for you, for me, when we turned our backs on Him, hated Him, disregarded Him, ignored Him.  It doesn't make sense.  But...

That's the real Truth about Love.

Monday, September 30, 2013

close to home.

Terror attack.  Westgate Shopping Centre.  Nairobi, Kenya.

I don't know if you have heard the story of what happened in Nairobi about a week ago now, but it hit me close to home.

Perhaps people who frequented the World Trade Center Towers or the Pentagon before September 11th can relate.  I am having a hard time explaining my feelings to people at this moment.  You see, Westgate Mall was a place to which I went often when I was in Nairobi, Kenya (about every three months of my two years overseas).  The pictures and videos are all too real.

Me and friends at Westgate in July 2012

I walked those hallways.  I shopped in that supermarket.  I ate at the outdoor cafe.  I saw movies in that theater.

The hospital to which they took victims was the hospital where I spent six days last June, being treated for a kidney infection.

The photos from a distance of the smoke rising from the mall were taken from the homes of my friends in Nairobi.

And more than all this, a dear missionary family was trapped inside.  Please read this article about the Suels: http://www.commissionstories.com/africa/stories/view/imb-missionaries-recount-terrorists-seizure-of-nairobi-mall Then, please join me in thanking and praising God for their safe escape and His protection.

And continue to pray for all of those hurting in Nairobi, Kenya and around the world.  Over 60 people were killed, and 175 injured.  There are still people missing.  Many are in shock.  Pray that His great grace would meet each person where they are.  Pray that this terrible event draws people to Jesus. Pray for those who were behind the attack...God desires that all men may know His name and repent.

When the Lord speaks to Moses as He delivers the Israelites from Egypt, He declares:
"I will lay my hand on Egypt and with mighty acts of judgment I will bring out my divisions, my people the Israelites. And the Egyptians will know that I am the Lord when I stretch out my hand against Egypt and bring the Israelites out of it.”  Exodus 7:4-5
But His demonstration of His might in Egypt is not only for the Egyptians...
"Then the Lord said to Moses, “Go to Pharaoh, for I have hardened his heart and the hearts of his officials so that I may perform these signs of mine among them that you may tell your children and grandchildren how I dealt harshly with the Egyptians and how I performed my signs among them, and that you may know that I am the Lord."  Exodus 10:1-2 
Whether this hits close to home, or not:

Pray that ALL would know that HE is LORD.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

common men for His glory.

Continuing the theme of my last post...speaking of Jesus and His twelve apostles...

"Notice the natural progression in their training program. At first, they simply followed Jesus, gleaning from His sermons to the multitudes and listening to His instructions along with a larger group of disciples...Next...He called them to leave everything and follow Him exclusively" (22, Twelve Ordinary Men by John MacArthur)
 They, like Ruth, possessed nothing in themselves that made them worthy of redemption and were not gifted in any area as to be loved and brought close.
"Although they were uncommon men, theirs was an uncommon calling. In other words, the task they were called to, and not anything about the men per se, is what makes them important" (22).
It is the kinsman-redeemer who makes Ruth complete again.  It is Christ who called the Twelve to His side, that He might make them whole and train them in Truth.  It is the Holy Spirit who empowered them to follow Him and love like Him and further the kingdom of God to the ends of the earth.

“Brothers think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him. It is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: ‘Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.’”  1 Corinthians 1:26-31
Thank You, Jesus, for being my kinsman-redeemer.  Thank You for accepting me and choosing me that Your Name might be seen and known.  Thank You for creating me to glorify You.  I am complete and whole and satisfied when You are exalted in my life.  May I never boast of anything in me.  May my boast always be of You.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

gleaning and great grace.


This week I had the opportunity to join the Jardin de Milagros crew (a farm that gives all produce to the Food Pantry in El Paso) in gleaning a chili field of another farmer.

While I was gleaning, I thought of Ruth.  Ruth the Moabitess, who after her husband’s death, left everything behind to follow her mother-in-law back to Israel.  This land was foreign to her, and in it she was an outsider.  Because by nature she was of a different people, she had no right to harvest alongside the Israelite people.

“So she went out to glean and begin to glean in the fields behind the harvesters” (Ruth 2:3)

And it so happened, that the field she gleaned from belonged to a close relative: Boaz.  When Boaz noticed Ruth gleaning, he protected her and said freely, “‘My daughter, listen to me. Don’t go and glean in another field and don’t go away from here. Stay here…’” (Ruth 2:8).

Some people think that when Jesus reveals Himself as Lord and He calls all people to believe in Him and repent that He merely says, “Come and glean.  Stay here with Me.  Let’s be acquaintances, even friends. Your home is elsewhere, as is your heart, but stay and take what you need and what you want and then you may go as you please.”

But the story of Ruth continues.

Next, Ruth and her mother-in-law, Naomi, realize that Boaz is not only a close relative but “‘he is one of [their] kinsman-redeemers’” (Ruth 2:20).  He is the answer to all of their problems!  By his blood, he is the rightful person to be husband to Ruth and son to Naomi (and son of her late husband and therefore heir of his estate).  By his blood, he is the only one who can provide for them the home, and all that a home entails, that they desperately need.

But there was also another person who was in line to be redeemer to Ruth and Naomi.  He was, however, concerned more for his own estate.  He was unable to perform the task required of him by the laws of Israel.  He told Boaz, “‘You redeem it yourself. I cannot do it’” (Ruth 4:6).

And Boaz did. 

Ruth came to him in the night and “lay down…at his feet” (Ruth 3:7-8).  She said: “‘I am your servant…Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a kinsman-redeemer’” (Ruth 3:9). 

And Boaz said to Ruth: “‘And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask’” (Ruth 3:11).   Ad Boaz declared to the people: “‘I have acquired Ruth the Moabitess, Mahlon’s widow, as my wife’” (Ruth 4:10).

Ruth went being nobody to being somebody.
From foreigner to member of the people of Israel.
From outsider to gleaner to wife. 

She was not just provided for,
or invited to,
but pulled all the way in!

What GREAT GRACE!

And what a true picture of what Jesus does for those who come to His feet and cry out, “Lord, I am your servant!  Be my redeemer, and cover me with all that You are.”  He does not merely provide for needs.  Or save from eternal destruction.  But He answers and does more.  By His blood, He is able to take those who come to Him as His bride.  He frees from sin that we might walk in life, abundant life.  That we may not only glean, but grasp and dance around in His great grace.  That we may be His, and He may be ours.

What happened to the chilies and me?  Well, all the chilies we picked went to the Food Pantry downtown to feed the families who pick up food baskets from there.  And I was fortunate to take home about ten!  My friend Hilda chopped them up and made them into salsa.  And not just any salsa, but one that was muy picoso, or very hot!  Even in my life, the gleaning led to so much more.  I thank God for teaching me real life lessons with simple things like picking chilies.

“‘Praise be to the Lord, who this day has not left [us] without a kinsman-redeemer’” (Ruth 4:14). 

Praise be to Jesus Christ who calls us to glean and then to gather and then to grasp and then to give His great, great grace.  

Monday, June 17, 2013

tan lines fade.


Before a soak (the lower set of feet are mine)

When I returned from South Sudan, I had perfect tan lines on my wrists from my watch and Toposa bracelet that I wore every single day in Toposaland.  I also had perfect Chaco’s tan lines on my feet. 

I admit, those tan lines made me pretty proud.  I’d been somewhere.  I’d done something.  I’d had an adventure of a lifetime. 


I hoped those tan lines would draw questions.  I hoped people would see and wonder. (Kind of silly, considering how no one studies wrists or the tops of feet in making conversation or meeting someone new!)  I hoped they’d stay forever, a reminder to me of where I’d been and what I’d experienced and a message to everyone in the world that I had a story to tell.  And a story that was worth listening to.

But they are fading.  If I really wanted to, I could try to keep them!  I could wear that same watch and a Toposa bracelet and even adorn my feet with my Chaco’s and then go stand outside in the sun every morning and afternoon for hours and hours and hours. 

But the truth is that wherever I go, I will and I must adapt to my surroundings to survive and more so, to thrive.  I never wore and will never wear Chaco’s on a daily basis in America, and I only took and only needed three pairs of shoes in Sudan.


Tan lines fade.  But the mark of Sudan remains.  Maybe not on the outside.  Along with the change to my tan lines, my hair is already nicer and cleaner and darker, and my feet don’t smell as bad and aren’t threatened by thorns.  My stomach doesn’t face all the things it did (especially those unseen things I’ll never know about), and my body doesn’t have to fight malaria. 

But my heart and mind will never be the same because of the time I spent in South Sudan.  Tan lines fade.  But my stories remain.  And I am here, by His grace, to tell them. 

And there will be new tan lines ahead.  I have started wearing shorts again, which by the way feels very strange after being in a place where those were considered indecent.  And though tanning is hard for me in general, you can already see a little difference in the colors on my legs!  And this is just the beginning of my first American summer in two years.

I’ll stand in the sun here as I did there and soak it up as much as I can.  But I think I’ll do it for another reason.  Not so I can get tan lines, to show off what I’ve done or who I am or what I’ve been through.  No!  The point is to BE, fully, where I am; it is to BE in the moment, and not miss what’s happening around me right now.  Soaking up sunshine means pouring out all of me into the relationships with people in the place where I am living, whether it’s in South Sudan or El Paso, Texas, USA. 

Life is about learning.  I want to be a lifelong learner.  Constantly soaking up new information to then share it with others.  And just as I learned new things everyday under the sun of Toposaland, I also learn, or re-learn, things here on a daily basis.

Things like how…there are such things as tape dispensers.  They cut tape perfectly straight on the edge.  Or that...hotels offer complimentary toiletries to guests.  If you forget something, it’s ok!  They’ll help you out.  And even some things that make me long for Sudan…like the fact that light pollution here makes the night sky less starry and the moon foggier than in Sudan, where the moon is like a spotlight in the sky and the stars really are like diamonds.

So, here’s to fading tan lines and new adventures and old stories and new sunshine!  Here’s to learning and learning more and sharing and sharing more!  Here’s to following Jesus—as I am, right where I am!

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as if working for the Lord, not for men”  
Colossians 3:23

“May His name endure forever; may it continue as long as the sun.  Then all nations will be blessed through Him, and they will call Him blessed.”  
Psalm 72:17